Question:
Will you kindly define what constitutes a valid Biblical marriage? Is a marriage ceremony of any real value, and is there any importance to be attached to it by true believers, aside from the formality which custom demands of those who enter the state of wedlock? Would not a man and a woman who had solemnly, before the Lord, promised to accept and take each other as husband and wife, be as truly married as though a civil ceremony had been performed by a justice or a civil-religious ceremony by a minister of the Gospel?
Answer:
It is impossible to set forth anything definite as to a form of ceremony. It seems to have been regulated by local customs, with certain essentials. In the first marriage, the Creator gave Adam his wife, under what form we don’t know. However, we know that there was sufficient form to convey clearly to all parties involved that a marriage had taken place. The solemn truth was conveyed that the twain should be one flesh (See Genesis 2:21-24) and that the union was indissoluble and the relationship and duty permanent (See Matthew 19:4-6). One of the essential things in marriage seems to have been the passing of the bride from her father’s house to the house of her husband or his father. That was preceded by betrothal and accompanied with more or less ceremony and solemn covenant. See references to these customs: Ezekiel 16:8-14; Malachi 2:14; Proverbs 2:17; Genesis 24:57-60; Ruth 4:9-13; Isaiah 61:10; Song of Solomon 3:11; Jeremiah 2:32; Matthew 9:15; 25:1-10. These and many other scriptures indicate that ceremonies accompanied the marriage, feasts were held, friends were present, pledges were given, covenants were ratified. The right of both wife and children and the good of society demands some formalities in the marriage ceremony, which is recognized throughout the Bible.
The use that is made of marriage as a symbol of the union between Christ and the individual (See Romans 7:4; Galatians 3:27), as well as between Christ and His kingdom (Isaiah 54:4-6; 61:10; 62:3-5; Revelation 21:1-2, 9-10; 19:7-9), indicates that more should be made of the marriage itself than a mere formal contract between two parties, though the world may make too much of the ceremony and too little of the sacred union for life. Its prohibitions also indicate the sacredness of marriage in God’s sight. Also, consider that marriage as outlined in the Bible was only dissolved through legal action—a bill of divorcement (See Deuteronomy 24:1, 3; Isaiah 50:1; Jeremiah 3:8; Mark 10:4). Though a spiritual institution, marriage was a legally recognized agreement. That which is solely spiritual would require no legal nullification.
So, while the solemn agreement between the man and woman might, as between them and God, constitute a marriage, they owe it to posterity and the public to make it public and of public record. And the Bible demands conformity to civil law when duty to God does not contradict (See Romans 13:1-7).
